I'm sitting here at my desk wondering where to begin.
I have three different work projects that need to be dealt with, my accountant called this morning to say that my year-end paperwork needs to be compiled and dropped off, my internet service provider is not providing service on a consistent basis so I need to find the four hours that I'm sure will be required to sit on the phone with their tech support department, I still haven't finished doing all the address changes that need to be done since we moved, my Velo Communications website needs updating in the worst way and my desk is covered in papers that need to be filed or addressed in some other way - my To Do list is buried in their somewhere. Right now I know that I can't actually take care of any of these things because my daughter will be home from school in about 15 minutes, then I need to pick up my son from daycare, their homework needs to get done and then I have to come up with a quick dinner before they both go to swimming lessons tonight at 6:00pm. In the midst of all that I'll spend some time feeling guilty about not getting other things like laundry, dishes or writing my novel done.
I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed today.
I like to make New Year's resolutions. I know, I know, they never last and we shouldn't look at Jan 1 as the only time to set goals for ourselves. But I'm a very goal-oriented person so resolutions are right up my alley. One of my resolutions this year, in addition to spending more time on the novel, working out five days a week and eating better, is to try to relax a bit and see my life more as a journey and less as a destination.
That's right, I've set a goal of not setting goals. I see the irony, you don't have to point it out.
Not that there's anything wrong with goals. As I said, I love goals, goals help us get to where we want to be, they motivate us and we feel great when we achieve them and inspired to continue. But I tend to take it too far and see my whole life as a To Do list that I need to check off. And the reality is that some things can't be checked off. Some things are organic and they never end. The bills will never all be paid because more are always coming in. The filing will never be done because more will always crop up. The kids have new homework every night and I could always do more at the gym.
My point is that, instead of constantly beating myself up about the things I feel that I'm achieving or crossing off my To Do list, I need to give myself a break, sit back a bit and just accept that this is life and be happy that I get to go along for the ride.