The First 100 Miles

Zsa Zsa Zabel

I'm really not trying to beat up on Eric Zabel these days.  Honest. 

I don't know the guy personally, and despite my post yesterday, I'm not even opposed to him escaping any kind of penalty for his admitted doping back in the 90s.  I agree with many of you who suggested that a statue of limitations on that stuff certainly makes sense.  I enjoy watching him race and I wish him great success.

But take a look at the guy's wife.  What the...?  Do you think that Zabel has a little basket for that tiny dog on his bike at home?  Oh wow, do I hope so.

I stumbled across this picture a while back and I've been saving it for a day when I didn't have time for a meatier post.  I have had the kids home with me all week (the week off between summer camp and back to school) and don't have the time to draft anything more interesting, so this is that day.

Eric and the very lovely Ms. Zabel.

The Rules

Okay, so I just want to make sure that I have this right.  According to the all-knowing and all-seeing UCI, doping as a professional cyclist is okay, it's being SUSPECTED of doping that's the big no-no.  Am I on the right track?

Valverde's out of the World Championships becuase he may somehow be involved in the Puerto affair and the UCI wants to have diciplinary proceeding begin against the rider.  But even the UCI in their press release was quick to point out that, "These proceedings would not imply any guilt on the part of Alejandro Valverde."

Zabel, on the other hand, has made a tearful admission that he did in fact use EPO in preperation for the 1996 Tour de France.  No suspision, no investigation, he did it.  But he's good to go.  The German tean has announced the Zabel will be going to the World's on their squad and the UCI hasn't made a peep.

So, doing drugs, good.  Being suspected of doing drugs, bad.  I just want to make sure we have the rules down. 

Seems to me then, that if you're a professional cyclist and you're doping these days, the thing to do is get yourself to the nearest press conference with eyes wide and face tear-stained and confess your sins as fast as you possibly can.  Then you can hop back on your bike and ride yourself to an Olympic medal if you like.  All will be forgiven.

Ups and Downs for Caisse d'Epargne

When Iván Gutiérrez wins the Eneco Tour of Benelux, that's a good day for the folks at Caisse d'Epargne.  When Alejandro Valverde falls under investigation by the UCI for involvement in Operacion Puerto, that's a bad day.

Today, both of those things happened and, while I received a press release from Caisse d'Epargne about Ivan's win, surprisingly, only the UCI sent out a release regarding the situation with Valverde.  Here it is:

Puerto affair: the UCI seeks disciplinary proceedings against Alejandro Valverde

During the meticulous studying of the 6,000-page Puerto dossier, the International Cycling Union (UCI) has concluded that several documents may show the involvement of Alejandro Valverde in the affair.

In accordance with its regulations, the UCI has requested the Spanish Cycling Federation (RFEC) to open disciplinary proceedings against the rider as soon as possible.

These proceedings would not imply any guilt on the part of Alejandro Valverde. However, according to UCI regulations, and to safeguard the atmosphere and reputation of the World Championships, Alejandro Valverde will be prevented from participating in the forthcoming UCI Road World Championships in Stuttgart.

If, at the end of the disciplinary procedure, the Spanish rider's involvement in the Puerto affair is confirmed and he receives at least a two-year suspension, then as a signatory of the "Riders’ Commitment to a New Cycling", he would be obliged to pay the UCI a contribution to the anti-doping campaign of a sum equal to his annual salary for 2007, in addition to any regulatory fines.

TDFTLSHW

Janann, thanks so much for that link to the Greg LeMond story yesterday.  He's an unhappy, bitter man. 

I'm afraid that I can't hate him as much as some folks do.  He'll always have a tiny soft spot in my heart because he made me fall in love with this sport which has brought so much enjoyment into my life. 

But, from what I've read, and from having met and interviewed him, I can certainly tell you that the man is living in the past.  He thinks that he was really the biggest champion that the sport has ever seen and that a lot of the glory that he deserved was stolen from him by the likes of Lance Armstrong, Bernard Hinault, and a whole host of others.I think it's sad, really, that someone who is in the position to really help the sport and build a really positive legacy for himself, has decided to lower himself so far down into the dirt with mud slinging and crazy conspiracy theories.

Although, I think we can all agree that if the issue of the secret motorcycles isn't addressed soon, the sport is never going to recover.

In light of LeMond's decision to open his mouth and be an ass again I wanted to share the little essay below.  I didn't write it - I wish - and I don't know who did.  It's been floating around on the Internet for a long while now with no name attached so we can't even thank that brilliant writer.

It explains, in great detail, about the Tours de France That Greg LeMond Should Have Won (TDFTLSHW).

Enjoy...

Minneapolis, MN -- Greg Lemond today released a statement that said he has, reluctantly and with great sadness, been forced to add the 2006 Tour de France to the long list of tours that he should have won. Lemond initially believed, and was even quoted in an earlier interview as saying, that this was the first clean Tour de France in many years. However, in light of the recent positive doping test of tour winner Floyd Landis, Lemond has concluded that, in all likelihood, he himself should have won the tour this year.

This brings the total number of Tours de France That Lemond Should Have Won (TDFTLSHW) to 167. Lemond first won the tour in 1986. However, as he has explained many times over the years since, he should have won the Tour in 1985, but was lied to by Bernard Hinault and cheated out of the race victory. Lemond next should have won the Tour in 1987 and 1988, but was incapacitated by a shotgun blast from his brother-in-law. While the incident was ruled an accident by the police, Lemond believes that his brother-in-law was working with Hinault and a young Texan by the name of Lance Armstrong to remove him from the sport.

Lemond came back to win the Tour in 1989 and 1990, but lost in 1991 due to the fact that, as incredible as it may sound, every other rider in the Tour de France besides Lemond was taking performance enhancing drugs. Lemond believes these drugs were supplied by Bernard Hinault, who realized that if nothing were done, Lemond would continue to win the Tour for the next 50 years. The drug-tainted Tour would continue through 2005, including the reign of Lance Armstrong. In the absence of doping, Lemond clearly would have won the Tour from 1991 to 2005, bringing the total number of TDFTLSHW to 21.

Going back before 1985, Lemond believes that in all likelihood, he would have won the Tour de France each year since his birth in 1961 if a) he had known about it and he had not had the small stature and limited leg length common to children between the ages of 0 and 10. As Lemond explains, clearly it would be unfair to him to discount the Tour wins he should have achieved were he only able to reach the pedals of his bicycle. This brings the TDFTLSHW to 45.

While Lemond concedes that some may believe him to be "stretching it" by including in his TDFTLSHW years from Tours before his birth, he claims that if one is to think about it logically, the only possible conclusion is that the greatest bike rider in the history of the Tour would absolutely have won the Tour since its inception in 1903, if only he had been alive at that time. It was not Greg Lemond's fault that his parents were not alive and able to conceive him in time to ride the initial Tour in 1903; thus, it would be unfair to strip him of the Tour wins that he rightly should have been awarded.

Note that there have been 11 years since its creation in 1903 that the Tour de France was not held due to the two World Wars. Clearly, stopping the Tour due to worldwide war would have been unfair to Greg Lemond, had he been alive, and would have in all likelihood, been a move orchestrated by Bernard Hinault, had he himself been alive, to keep Lemond from winning the tour. Thus, Lemond believes that these years should also be included in the TDFTLSHW, giving him a total of 103 wins.

Finally, Lemond explains that he has included the years between the invention of the bicycle to the first Tour de France (1839 to 1903) in the TDFTLSHW. Had the French had the foresight to create the Tour de France in a more timely manner, Lemond would have definitely won it each and every year, again assuming he had been alive (see above). Obviously Lemond cannot be blaimed for the shortsightedness and general ineptitude of the French, and therefore the victory from the Tours de France that should have been held in these years must be credited to Lemond, bringing the final tally of TDFTLSHW to 167.

Note that while Lemond has not yet been able to rationalize including years before the invention of the bicycle in the TDFTLSHW, he has created a company to pursue such an effort. The company is hard at work on a rationalization and hopes to produce one for him within the year.

Now Wouter, Play Nice With the Other Kids

Wouter Weylandt fianlly got the stage win at the Eneco Tour of Benelux that he's been hoping for since arriving in Belgium. 

The 22-year old got his first Pro Tour win on Sunday, but the style in which he won it didn't make him any new friends in the peloton.

Coming to up the line, Weylandt cut off CSC’s Matthew Goss and banged into Thor Hushovd's handlbars before taking the win.  Hushovd, and three other riders, screamed at the young Belgian as they came across the line.  David Kopp of Gerolsteiner shouted, "Are you crazy?" to the stage winner.  But Weylandt didn't care.  He claimed that Hushovd was the only rider who might have had a legitimate bone to pick with him and he saw his win on Sunday as revenge for the third place finish that was taken from him on Stage 2.

Stage 2 was won in the final sprint by Mark Cavendish on Friday.  Weylandt crossed the line in third place that day, but was later cited for "irregular sprinting" by the judges and taken down from third to 140th place.

Despite his erratic sprinting on Sunday, the judges did not over-rule the win and Weylandt gets Quick Step's first victory of this tour.

This clears things up for me because when I was doing the race report on Friday for Stage 2 I thought I was going crazy.  I'd watched Weylandt come across the line in third place, I'd heard that commentators say that he came across in third, I'd read on the live ticker that he'd come across in third place, but when the final results were posted, he was in 140th place.  I went back and looked at he photos of the finish that were posted on Cycling News and there was a big blond Beligian in Quick Step kit right behind Freddie Rodriguez but now, according to the results, he wasn't there at all.  I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone.

What I want to know is how they determine what "irregular sprinting" is?  It's always seemed to me as though pretty much anything goes when it comes down to a bunch sprint.  I've seen riders use elbows, shoulders, even their head, to hold other riders back.  I've seen handlbars touch and riders cutting off other riders as just part of the norm.  I wasn't even aware that there were rules about safety that they had to abide by in the sprint.  Have these judges ever watched a bunch sprint at the Tour de France? 

That's How the Big Boys Do It

I don't normally post on Saturdays but this was just so sweet that I needed to share.

It's 3km to go to the line in Stage 3 of the Eneco Tour of Benelux this morning.  All of the lead-out men for the spinters are bringing their boys up to the front...except poor Roger Hammond (T-Mobile) who's looking around over his right shoulder, over his left, where the hell is Mark Cavendish?  They're coming up, 2kms to go, 1km to go.  Finally Cavendish gets himself up from somewhere back in Timbuktu (not sure if he was signing autographs back there or what) and he gets onto Hammond's wheel as they fly under the flame rouge.  But now they're too far back over on the left side.  They power to the line.  Hammond lets Cavendish go and he gives it full gas up into 6th place, 5th, 4th...what was it that the cocky bugger said yesterday?  Something about how when he's in 3rd place with 100m to go no one can beat him these days.  Oops, he's within 50m of the line and almost up to 3rd place but there's a pink and black torpedo going through the group that he doesn't seem able to catch.

Rocket Robbie takes the win, Francesco Chicchi (Liquigas) in 2nd, Hushovd in 3rd and - oh it hurts - Mark Cavendish in 4th place.

Robbie was always going to win today because he was pissed and nothing can stop that boy when he's pissed.  He was pissed because he's not riding the Vuelta.  He was pissed because he didn't win the stage yesterday.  And he was pissed because some freckle-faced kid from England thinks that he can beat him in the last 100m before a pro bike race finish line.  Robbie was pissed and no one can beat Robbie when he's pissed.

So, let's do the math here.  That makes 8 career wins for Cavendish as a pro rider and hmmm, 7 times 4, carry the one, plus six, divide by three...oh yes, 82 career wins for McEwen.

You just go ahead and keep practicing on that bike Mark.

I hate that kid.

Smores

I've been super busy this week so I didn't have time to read all of the comments yesterday, but I read enough to see that a) there was a highly relevant conversation about the perfect recipe for smores going on and b) that someone was considering making smores with something other than graham crackers.  I have no idea what the alternative would be, but the very idea is horrifying.  A smore is the perfectly balanced triumvirate of chocolate, marshmallow and graham cracker.  To tinker with that ratio in any way is just simply wrong.

I wonder what's going on over at Marty's.  Is he really deleting posts that he deems "irrelevant"?  With his Typepd account he certainly is able to do that, but it seems like a really odd thing to do.

Watching Stage One of the Eneco Tour on Cycling.tv again this morning.  I'm really enjoying the coverage there.  I may have to get myself a real subscription.  Not sure who the British guy and Scottish guy are, but they're really good (almost makes me miss Phil and Paul a little less).  Mr British Guy and Scottish Guy shared some interesting info this morning during their commentary.  They said that Robbie McEwen doesn't ride with a race radio because he finds it distracting in the sprints.  He relies on the other guys to come and tell him anything that he needs to know.  But, I guess there's not a huge amount of strategy for Robbie during the stage, is there?  Stay upright.  Don't use too much energy.  Get to the finish line first.

Anyway, Mark Cavendish just won the stage after a great leadout from his teamate Roger Hammond.  This kid rubs me the wrong way.  I keep remembering his little tantrum on the side of the road during the Tour after being brought down by a careless spectator.  I've heard that his nickname is "Cannonball" because the other riders in the peloton say he's dangerous because he's so cocky and inexperienced.  When he came across the line today he held up eight fingers in the air.  That's how many stage wins he's had this season and he says he wants to beat Petacchi's eleven.

In his interview immediately after the stage the interviewer asked him how he pulled out the win and he said, "Well, when I'm in the top three with 100m to go, there's no one that can beat me these days."

I don't like him.

Gusev looks good after his crash yesterday.  He rolled in yesterday with a large section of bloody buttock showing as well as some blood on his right elbow.  But he's cleaned up today and was riding well up at the front of the pack.  The other Disco boys did a great job of protecting him all day, right up through the crazy, dangerous sprint and he came across the line safely in the peloton and ready to race another day.

Searching for a Home

Everyone seems to be looking for a new home these days.  Rasmussen met with Italian team Acqua & Sapone director Palmiro Masciarelli yesterday to discuss the possibility of him joining the team now in order to get him back into the game in time for the Giro di Lombardia which takes place on October 20.  I just really hope that the guy did something wrong, because otherwise this feels a lot like watching the destruction of Floyd's career all over again.

Levi Leipheimer is also looking for a new home after the demise of Discovery Channel.  Several of the riders have already announced that they have found contracts with other teams, but Levi and his agent, Paul De Guyter, are still in talks with a few teams.  He says that he expects to have a clearer picture of his future in the next week or two.

In other Dicovery Channel news, Vladimir Gusev had a bad, awful day in Stage One at the Eneco Tour of Benelux this morning.  Two flat tires and then a crash just 5km from the finish left the Russian rider practically limping across the finish today in Belgium.  I'm just finishing up my report for the Paceline on the stage and working on getting an update on Gusev's condition to include, but no word yet.

Robbie McEwen is pissed about the decision of his team to keep him out of the Vuelta.  McEwen has argued that his good form this season has been based on him riding the Vuelta (which is odd because even he admits that the Vuelta wasn't on his schedule at the beginning of the season) but, according to Cycling News, his team management has said, "The case is closed. McEwen won't go."

Cadel Thinks Big

Cadel Evans (Predictor-Lotto) believes that 2008 may see him become the first professional cyclist to win an Olympic medal for cycling and the Tour de France in the same year.  Come on Cadel, if you're going to grow as an athlete you have to set challenging goals for yourself - think big why don't you.

Seriously though, good for him.  I hope he does it.

I'm sitting here watching the Prologue for the Eneco Tour of Benelux this morning live on Cycling.tv so that I can write the report for the Paceline.  I'll be covering the race until Sunday when Cathy gets back. 

So far it's been a pretty dull time trial. Michiel Elijzen (Cofidis) set the best time early on and so far, very few riders have been able to come close to touching him.  It's only a 5.1km course which makes it tough for the riders.  There is literally no room for error.  You have to hit every turn perfectly or you lose precious tenths of a second and, on a course like this, tenths of a second can plummet you down the leader's board like a stone.

Just to put the level of skill and power into perspective, most of these guys are riding the wet, twisting, turning 5.1km course in just over 6 minutes.  Wow.

Man, it's great to watch live racing again though.  I have to admit that there are times when I get bogged down with assignments for a couple of the bike magazines I write for up here and I start to get tired of cycling (yes, I said it).  Some of the work I do can be a little on the dull side, especially when it's the really technical stuff about the industry like which company is acquiring which other company, etc.  But as soon as I sit down and get to watch good old fashioned bike racin' again, all those feelings disappear and I remember why I just adore this sport.

It just started pouring rain on the Prologue course in Belgium.  Here's hoping everyone makes it through safely.

Raise a Glass for Floyd

Had a nice email from my friend Paula (strbuk) over at TBV this week.  She asked if I would help promote an event that the folks over there are trying to get going and I am more than happy to give her a plug here.

Their plan is to have all of us Floyd supporters pick one moment in time around the world where we all come to our computers and raise a glass to the man who we admire so.  The idea being that they would let Floyd know about it and it would be our way of showing our support and sending our good wishes.  According to Paula, this is all being set up in response to the recent New York Times article which had so many of Floyd's fans down.

According to Paula, "I know it's a small thing but it's what we can do."

More details about the chosen time will be posted up on the TBV site so stay tuned and when I know more, I'll post it here as well.  Looks like right now they're thinking of 17:10 CEST (the exact time of the Morzine finish).  Not sure what that would translate into for everyone here.  And I dont think they've picked a day yet.  Like I said, either Paula or I will keep you posted.

I suggest that, if anyone here is interested in the idea, we think about having a virtual Inane Asylum table at this little event - maybe a booth?

By the way, head over to Jessi's site to learn more about Paula than you ever wanted to know in her BFF Application answers.  Wow!  Sex and baking eh Paula?...  Plus, there's a pic of her there and who knew that Paula was so hot?  No wonder Floyd reads her site so often ;)

Two things worry me about the news I read on Tom Boonen this morning.  The first is that he is clearly more hurt than he thought after his crash in Germany this weekend.  And the second is that the news came to the media through his mother.  You all know how much I adore Tom, but this relationship with his mother is more than a little off-putting.  I mentioned this to Jessi a while back while we were chatting after the Tour.  Has anyone visited Tom's website?  Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that his mom blogs for him on his site?  I wonder what his girlfriend thinks about Mrs. Boonen?  You'll notice that, despite the fact that they've been together for years, there's almost no mention of her anywhere on the site while mom gets her own column.

I'm starting to think that I might have to leave Tom and his mommy on their own and find a new cycling-crush.  This is going to require some serious thought...